Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
