thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
how does that bad decision feel?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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