Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
