I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm like, not good at living.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
