i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
