Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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