Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
