Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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