I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
