i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
