I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
