There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
