North Korea, Best Korea!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize