Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
