i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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