if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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