you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
