SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
