I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Mom said you looked used
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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