Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
