thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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