When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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