small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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