Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
