Where is the hickey?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
