Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
