it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
