im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
