I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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