So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
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