Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
