Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
