Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
