I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
