i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
