Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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