Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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