forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize