I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
