so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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