I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
