You work out of a Hotel?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
