i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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