i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize