I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have feelings that need drinking.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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