Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
