The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
