I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
