when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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