Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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