I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
