I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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