So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
