dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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