I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
