Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
