32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
