if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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