I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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