i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
should my penis look like a turkey
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
