holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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