do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
