and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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