so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
