I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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