We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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