Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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