summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
