maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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