his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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