I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
