Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Sober January is a disaster.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize